Waiting is a killer
It’s been over 3 weeks since I had my liver biopsy and I’ve been worried and sick ever since. I know something is very wrong in there and just don’t know what’s can be done about it. As I said in last post, I had to go to the hospital a week after the biopsy because I was feeling so horrible and in pain. The pain has subsided a bit … but only if I don’t really do anything at all. That’s no way to live for sure.
I went in for another blood test today, still don’t know how the last one went. I wish I could get the results myself instead of having to rely on doctors who are too busy and too overloaded with patients to look at them in detail and relay info to me - outside of an appointment anyway.
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I’ll go see the specialist on Thursday. Not too much longer, but I wish it was sooner. I’m starting to feel real bad again the past couple days. After the blood test this morning, I went to my car and had a yogurt and some water. Was feeling pretty good and liking the fresh air. So I decided to venture out to the grocery store to get a few more things. I had gone last night on return from picking up my sister and while waiting for her to finish her appointment with the accountant. But I didn’t get all I wanted … I went to the Provigo because it was closest. Man Provigo sucks balls here in St-Jean. Veggies were not fresh and twice as expensive as they are at Maxi or SuperC where I usually shop. Well anyway, I didn’t last long at the maxi this morning either …
I was just about halfway through the fresh food section (the first one!) and I was hit with a shot of weakness and pain in my chest and abdomen. I tried to just stay still, leaning on a post for a while, hoping it would pass. But it didn’t. I limped my way back to the cash and tried to run the few things I had through … but then I was really dizzy, flushed, and sweating. I’ve felt this bad a few times before and it’s not fun. Usually end up going to hospital when it happens. But I toughed it out. I was visibly in distress for the cashier lady came over to see if I was ok and I said no. Asked if there was a place to sit and she went to ask the manager type person … he said no! Imagine, what an asshole. What the hell was right there in his office, 10metres away from me … empty chairs. The cashier person was notably pissed having to come tell me nothing was there to sit on. I was pissed but what can I do. I guess that little adrenaline rush of being angry got me though. I finished and paid for my stuff and dragged myself out to the car (thankfully I have that handicapped sticker thing!!!). Grabbed an orange while I was unloading and then sat in the car for a good long while eating it and drinking some more water. How horrible to be reduced to that state. 
I was there for a while, and was seeing straight again so I drove home and retreated to my bed for a couple hours. My life is full of such struggles, thing that used to be so simple are now monumental ordeals. I spend the day struggling though everything. more breakfast, rest, shower, rest, lunch, rest, prepare and cut veggies for supper (making pad ka prow to cheer myself up - it’s blogged here), and now rest again. Going to have another orange then I’m to get ready to head out again. Going to pick my sister up at the bus stop and go fetch some water. Literally can’t live without water!
